In the last small newsletter, we considered what a task-oriented small group ministry looks like. We will continue exploring different types of small-group ministries, using Emory Griffin’s Getting Together: A Guide for Good Groups as a helpful resource. Today’s column focuses on relationship groups.
Some small groups mainly focus on belonging. Their goal is fellowship: warmth, trust, care, connection. This isn’t “less spiritual” than study or planning. In many cases, it’s where people gain the strength to keep going.
Griffin tells a story (from his own experience) about a group that had stability and good intentions but felt lifeless. The turning point came when the leader paused the normal routine and invited honest conversation about what was happening among them. That night of openness didn’t happen because someone forced vulnerability. It happened because someone created space for truth and love to meet.
A key insight from Griffin is that relationship groups often need an agreed-upon covenant. That covenant needs to be a shared commitment to treat one another as people loved by God.
Here are covenant elements that fit healthy Christian fellowship:
Presence: My being here matters to the whole group.
Confidentiality: What’s shared stays here.
Grace: I won’t rush to fix you; I’ll listen first.
Openness: I’ll share my story, not a sermon.
Honesty with love: I’ll speak truth in a way you can hear.
Sensitivity: You have the right to be quiet.
Prayer: We carry each other to God
Relational groups also grow when conversation moves beyond “topics” into “people.” It’s possible to talk about God in a way that stays distant—true ideas, but no personal reality. Relationship groups gently invite a different kind of speech: “Here’s what I’m carrying.” “Here’s what I’m afraid of.” “Here’s what I need prayer for.” “Here’s how Christ met me this week.”
As a practical practice, occasionally ask everyone to finish one sentence, “Right now, I’m showing up feeling…” No advice. No fixing. Just listening with the love of Christ.
Over time, that kind of trust becomes contagious. Not every week will be dramatic, but week by week, the group becomes a place where people are actually known.
By Pastor Chad Burrow
